1998-2015, To the Years of Beauty.

by cerissadival

Sunday, I lost a dear friend. After death, explaining death seems to be very complicated but there is one thing I have realized. Death is not for the dead, death is for the living. Wakes and funerals are not for the deceased but rather a sense of closure for the ones who mourn. Because that’s what we crave. We crave closure and reasoning.

The deceased lived and died but the living is still left to live while the dead is dead. Although the concept may be beyond me, but I’d prefer to laugh than cry. My friend was 16, he passed by an unexpected heart attack on a Sunday. That night at 11:11PM, I wished. Normally, I don’t wish. I lost hope in wishes one day but on this night, I caught 11:11 and figured it couldn’t hurt.

My first wish was for my grandmother to regain her full health against her  a cancer battle. My second wish was for my family to be safe and happy. My third wish was for my happiness to be strong. My fourth wish was for my love to love me in return. Lastly, my fifth wish was for my friend laying in a coma in the hospital from his collapse on that Friday to recover. I wished that he would be okay. He died at 11:30 PM.

Days later, I realized life is not always the answer and what we think is right, is not always…right. I wished for him to be okay and in my mind, that meant life but in life, that meant death. For a reason I may never know, death was appropriate. Death saved him from whatever pain he was suffering from. I wished for him to be okay and I honestly believe he is.

People may ridicule me for believing death was right. I mean….he was 16. Many may say he barely lived but that isn’t true. He lived. Any sort of life, is living. Every day, every minute, every second is valuable. He possibly had many more years but we all are given a contract. For a reason, his may have been short but it was just as lovely and valuable as any other life.

Life is not based on time but rather our moments. Life is measured by laughter, by love and the moments we stay up late to cherish silently in our beds before sleep. I would say he had a beautiful life. He had a light soul, a very gentle yet gigantic heart. His smile was contagious and his eyes held a magnificent charm that could make your heart melt. Wherever his soul may travel now, I know he is just fine.

Life is so indescribably painful and beautiful. But how could life be both? Although something may be tragic, it can also be beautiful. He was here and then gone, he left a loving scar on all of our hearts. He is gone but always here. In spirit, in love, in memory and in our laughs.

You are so loved.

Remember to remind the people around you of that.