I have finally found refuge within my solitude. I have come to like my indepence, I’ve grown very fond of my own company. It’s been this way for awhile now.
I told myself that when I reached this point of comfortability with being alone, that I would allow myself to be with someone. I believe you must be able to enjoy your own company before enjoying another’s. You are your best company.
We must learn to be alone before walking with others.
After enjoying my own company for awhile, I miss the feeling of loving someone and being loved. This is okay! I know I do not need someone or this feeling,but it would be very nice. Yes, I’ve been adored by some but none that have met my true desires.
My fantasy is a lazy summer afternoon,where the temperature is too hot to be outside and the chirping of birds slide through the spaces in the open windows into the stale air of my golden painted living room. And I am just listening. He plays the piano or the guitar, replaying pieces over and over again so casually. I’m not annoyed with the repetition of the sounds but I find such comfort in the tunes. A sweat breaks out over my skin and my perfume dangles in the humid air above me. The bubbly conversations between bikers on the nearby road occasionally spill into the room and from the kitchen I can hear the rise and fall of a half filled glass returning to its place on the table between careful sips.
I’m dozing off to beautifully, pleasant sounds and that’s my loving fantasy. Not sex or promiscuous desires, over anything I crave that one,lazy afternoon. Where words do not have to be exchanged to know that there is nothing but love in our presence.