Equivalent 

by cerissadival

I kind of miss being in love but I don’t believe I’ve actually ever been in love. Yes I’ve been in serious relationships with painful breakups that I somewhat adored, the breakup part included. But I don’t believe I will ever know what love is until it is the true feeling, the one love that truly lasts,the love im meant to be with. I want to find that person, my equivalent and I’ve never been known to have much patience but I’ve been waiting recently. I don’t want to waste time on someone I know I could not love to the very extent because I didn’t see potential in them. I want a writer, a passionate,loving writer who has the ability to appreciate art beside his own. I think it’s very important that my love has great confidence but can appreciate another human’s work just as much as his. I love music and laughter, adventure and surprises. I love debate but not hateful debate, reasonable,contained arguments. 

I used to be a very different person. Going through a lot of stuff in my life and I’ve changed so much that it makes me happy to know that the people I’ve left behind in my life aren’t around to experience all of the joy in my life right now. They may not deserve it, or maybe they do. Who knows. But I dream of my equivalent, I think almost everyone does. I think it’s lovely to try to imagine who you’ll end up with in the end.

No I am a whole, not a half and that does not mean I need another half to me. I’m independent and I love my independence and I think it’s very important to know who you are before figuring someone else out. It’s important to have a grip on your own life before taking on another’s and I never understood that in my past years. But mistakes don’t exist,only lessons learned and everything happens for a reason so I’m blessed to have gone through so much pain, either caused by myself or others, because that pain transformed me. I’m very grateful. 

I have a lot of time ahead of me and Ofcourse im young and dream of all types of sceneries of falling in love with the right guy but I can wait. I’m in no rush. I love myself and im pleased with my life,who I am and with the people around me. I’m surrounded by love and a great environment. I only wish to give and keep giving.

I’m just a writer, a complicated romantic searching for an equivalent in such a wide world, that’s so beautiful. The future is unpredictable, I’m very excited.